But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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