ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
