i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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