Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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