i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize