we have pet lesbian snakes
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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