question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
