it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
