Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
