lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
