there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
