we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
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