Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I just found a bag of teeth...
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
