Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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