ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Randomize