gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
