my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
