i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
