Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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