I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I'm always down for nudity.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
