My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize
