I wanna passion pit in your ass
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Randomize
