i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
