He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
