If that was your dad, he is hot
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
You ate ashes out of my bong
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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