wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
