Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
