So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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