She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
