We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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