I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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