If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Randomize
