When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
