doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
