I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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