Plan B is the new Plan A
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
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