They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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