do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize
