you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Randomize
