Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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