I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
