I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize