I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
