i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
