Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
