He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
