u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
