who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
