Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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