so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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