I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
