How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
