PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
