We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
