I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
