Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize