what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize