He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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