thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
