Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
We just shotgunned beers for America
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize