it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Randomize
