Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize