Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
My balls are so social today.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
