I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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