bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
