Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
