garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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