Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I think I have vodka in my lungs
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
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