he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
