I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
