he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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