well you can't waste a boner
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize